A funny story for seagull player

vulcanbob · Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 4:57 am Post subject: A funny story for seagull player

I thought maybe you could use this at the nursing home.

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of "tea," which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up. Then she says, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?"

J Dan Brown · Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:00 am Post subject:

Way cool, Bob! Very Happy

My cutesey childhood story is when I was about 5, while visiting my Mother's aunt in rural Natchitoches Parish. These folks were totally self-sufficient. Auntie and Uncle Raimi, we called them, raised cattle, hogs and chickens and my Dad would go help them kill and dress hogs occaisionally. I have always heard that the only thing you don't use on pigs is the squeal. These people had a smokehouse and made their own bacon, ham and sausage and my Mom's anunt was famous for her hot tamales.

Well once, while visiting at about 5 or 6, I came in from playing at their house and saw something cooking on their stove in a pot that must have held 5 gallons and it smelled so good. I had always been curious about cooking, and often helped my Mother in the kitchen, and there was no one around the kitchen at the time. I just had to know what that heavenly smell was. So I grabbed on of those kitchen step-stools and a rag to keep from burning my hand, pushed the little ladder up to the stove, climbed up and lifted the lid from the giant pot and then........

...and what greeted me was a huge hog's head, boiling with stuff running out of it's eye sockets and it's giant tusks and teeth surrounded by onions and garlic. I screamed, flung the lid, fell over backwards, then ran and hid in the woods. I guess I thought I had uncovered some secret evil ritual, I was not supposed to know about, and maybe I was next. My parents had to come find me in my secret lair and explain that they were only making hot tamales and to RELAX!
Blessed, to have grown up way out in the woods, Dan

vulcanbob · Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:30 am Post subject:

Dan I also grew up in the "woods" actually in the mountains of eastern KY. and I had had a similar experience, at a friends grandparents house.
I was told that they were making "Souse" or as they called it Head Cheese !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

markm2553 · Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:05 am Post subject:

Perfect stories, they will love them at the nursing home!

Thanks, I am always looking for new material!

sharring · Tiger Joined: 04 Feb 2004 Posts: 812 Location: Texas

I play bass every friday at this local gathering...no alcohol, no smoking, etc...they start at 630, play till 8, everyone breaks for dinner then play till 10 or so. Anyway, the gruff ole guy that organizes this has a funny wife. She got up last week and told this story. They had gone on a day trip and had stopped for breakfast. After eating they headed down the road. After 10minutes had gone by she announces "I left my glasses at Dennys". Well her husband, being the considerate understanding type responded with "for crying out loud, whadya do that for? Jeesh, now I've got to turn around...there goes my schedule, and with the cost of gas...."etc... all the way back he never stops complaining.
So they get back to Denny's and as she gets out of the car he leans over and quietly says "Hey honey, grab my hat while you're in there willya?".