uhhh...prayer...please :(

dogwhisperer · Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2004 6:03 pm Post subject: uhhh...prayer...please :(

hey everyone i know there's heaps of people needing your prayers more than i, but just thought i'd let you know i'm having a bit of a tough time at home to do with the Lord...my mum and dad are christians, but are very controlling towards me and my bros and sis's, even though i will be 17 later this year...they don't let me talk to people hardly at all...in a month i may not say a word to anyone outside of the home except maybe via email which is often banned, i'm not allowed to get a job and they won't let me study the bible and pray with my younger bro's and sisters (amongst other things) They say i am rebellious because i dont' believe all the things they do because (it conflicts with the word of God often). I am obvously not supposed to be writing this, but sometimes you've just gotta step out in faith and obey God before man. I try very hard to obey my parents, and i sure hope this doesn't sound like a whinging rebellious teenager, i just do get very lonely here without fellowship with other christians. I do know, and am happy in the knowledge though, that God has me in his hand, and He won't allow anything that he doesn't want for me, i just have to stay in his Word! Smile

God Bless you all! Be a Idea

for HIM!

PunkStar · Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2004 6:49 pm Post subject:

Am I reading that right? Is that post saying the parents are Christians yet they won't let their daughter read the Bible hang out with other Christians? Does anyone else see something wrong with this picture? I really hope I'm reading that wrong, because I'm pretty disgusted at that.

#Mad

Ok, I'm done raging on. I'll be praying for you.

sharring · Tiger Joined: 04 Feb 2004 Posts: 812 Location: Texas

"Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee". EX 20:12 Dogwhisperer I feel your pain. I too was a teenager once, except I defied my parents by sneaking out which led to experimenting with drugs and petty crime. Girls IMO are not as rowdy as boys, so I doubt this would happen to you. But I lost my parents for awhile there and I can never get that time back. And I recently lost my dad to cancer and would give anything for that time! Anyway, they won't let you study the Bible and pray with your siblings? There has just got to be more to that story. It is normal for teenagers to develop different beliefs than their parents-this helps establish identity. But please be patient with them. At 17 it will soon be your turn to fly solo and they know it. When you talk about placing God before man (your parents) that scares me. I think The Almighty knew what he was doing when he gave your parents the gift that is you. I hardly know you, but by reading your posts I believe your are a very mature and creative young women. Plus you love guitars-that makes you nearly perfect! Please read Paul's defination of love/charity in 1st Corinthians Chapter 13. Are you showing this kind of love toward your parents? Regardless of what you think they are showing you? Please pray about this. One more thing-I recently heard what I thought was a new black R&B singer and found out it was a 17YO English girl named Joss Stone. What a great voice. Not openly Christian but very talented. I am so jealous of teenagers these days. Be God's-scott

PunkStar · Posted: Fri Apr 30, 2004 11:36 pm Post subject:

sharring · Tiger Joined: 04 Feb 2004 Posts: 812 Location: Texas

But Punk-she calls her parents Christian. As a Christian herself she knows the defination of that word and all it entails. Dogwhisperer, there has GOT to be more to this scenario than you are telling. Real Christian parents would not stop you from reading the Bible or praying with your brothers and sisters. If you don't want to be specific I can respect that. But this situation as you describe it sounds like a portal for Satan-that's why it scares me Punk. Dogwhisperer, are you openly debating your parents regarding God's word in front of your siblings? Be God's-scott

Steve · Posted: Sat May 01, 2004 7:07 am Post subject:

You can honor your mother and father and still be your own person.
They obviously love you and are concerned for your safety, spiritually and otherwise.
As a parent, I believed in pretty tight controls as the children were young, but then loosening the ropes a bit as they grew and accepted more responsibilities. Ultimately they must learn to make decisions and suffer the consequences, but in our home mistakes will not cost you like out in the world.
God does not violate the free will of man, but until a person is "of age" and ready to join society as an equal He gives us parents, governesses, the law, etc.
It is normal for a young person to want to be an individual, just as it's normal for parents to be concerned about answering to God for what happens to children He's entrusted to their care on their watch.
Perhaps you could ask your parents at what age or when you can expect to be given more freedoms to make some choices?
Don't be surprized if it is when you are no longer living under their roof as a dependent.
In a marriage there are many opportunities to have resentments about your partner. The trick is to "...Think of the good things. Whatsoever is honorable; holy; right; of good report. Think on THESE things..."
Since you are in a situation where you are under the control of others (your parents), I would counsel to accept their demands as long as there is nothing illegal or immoral or against God about them.
Life is 10% circumstances, and 90% attitude. And you get to choose your attitude. Even Corey Tenboom, who suffered under Nazi persecution, was able to forgive and love. Your situation is not that, though to your mind it may seem similiar.
In all things love. Your parents probably believe they are expressing love to you by taking responsibility for your decisions. As a teenager that grates against your concept of free will.
Ultimately our worst isolation experience is when we forego trusting God and accepting His love for us in prayerful communion and fellowship with the Holy Spirit.
Seek Him out in prayer and surrender to Jesus. He is there. You will find Him, possibly as never before. When you abide in Him, it will become obvious to your parents, and the world you meet.

dogwhisperer · Posted: Sat May 01, 2004 1:59 pm Post subject:

i know this is all rediculous ppls, and to tell the truth, its more confusing for me than all of you combined! Mad

btw everyone, part of this whole thing that makes it seem like a tunnel without end is that according to their interpretation of the scriptures, girls are not allowed to leave home either until they get married to the partner their parents approve (fair enough on that one) and so i could be here for the rest of my life lol. See this thing gets so complex grrr up till 18 mos ago, (which is as far as the east is to the west for God) this family was laden with physical violence...stuff, because it is forgiven, i won't go into, but real not nice stuff (nothing sexual i have toadd though lol) there was never drugs or alchohol involved, its just the way dad treated us and mum, verbally for mum mostly and verbally and physically for us. all in the name of Godly authority though. then my two big sis's ran off...part rebellion, part confusion, now they are living in the world doing the things of the world (one is living with her boyfriend adn the other i think is to Crying or Very sad

) dad kinda pulled himself up short after they left and was very hurt over it, but they bout a year or so later he started up again, and i flew the coop down to Longreach, then Sydney with my two sis's at 14 yrs old (dumb, i know) i got in the world as far as swearing and ignoring God and acting like a 'teen from today lol' but he bought me back home where he wanted me and back to Him. first when i came back mum and dad made all sorts of promises (i could join a youth group etc and have friends over and get a job later on) but now that's definately out of the picture. don't get me wrong! i thing i phrased that wrong last time, i AM allowed to read the bible...every morning my bros and sis get up and fight for about 2-3 hours due to boredom and either parents asleep or on chat (dad sits on this particular christian chat room practically all his waking hours counselling people and telling them what is wrong in their lives etc...most of them absolutely love him!...course on the net it's easy not to show them you just yelled at your wife before you typed that Smile

face grr) so anyway, i figured they just needed someone to give them something to do in the mornings, so i started just reading the bible with them (getting up earlier to do so) and praying with them for the Lord to help them to obey their parents and do their work etc through the day, because they can be VERY behavioural...dad'll get mad and dicipline them, but them he'll jump straight back on chat and tell them to skitter off downstairs and leave him alone (duh)..so anyway, after a couple of days of this, they started to really improve and be a lot more obediant, but then mum told dad what i was doing (she had no probs with it...even joined in one morn) and dad banned it...don't get me wrong, he knows the bible back to front nearly...specially the bits about submitting to your husband (for mum) and your parents (for us) but he doesnt' like 'religious stuff' like families getting together and pryaing and reading their bible together! duh dad said i could do crafts with them in the morning...i said 'so just nothing to do with the bible, right?' 'yes'. i'll do crafts or teach them their school books and i'll put bible tapes same time.
got to go now.
gbu

Steve · Posted: Sat May 01, 2004 2:52 pm Post subject:

Something is confusing me in the way all this is unfolding.
Does your father have contact with, and be accountable to, any other Christians, say, a pastor?
Are you all members of a church or Christian fellowship where you gather with other Christians, in the flesh (so to speak)?

dogwhisperer · Posted: Sat May 01, 2004 5:01 pm Post subject:

maybe i should stop here. i really don't want to burden you all! the answer steve is no no and no. dad sometimes goes to a church here and there, but not to fellowship or be accountable to anyone. he believes he is accountable straight to god, and even though i know that isn't scriptural, i don't particularly subscribe to being totally accountable to a pastor, but to each other...submitting one to another in the love of the Lord. I have had to just step out on a limb in a lot of things...for instance, even though my dad would think this is 'religious' i feel the Lord asking me to be accountable to Him...more and more. I am now getting up at like ten-to-five every morning and i just spend all that time right up till around 8:15 in the morning (everyone is up, the children need taking care of, meals to be cooked etc etc) just praising the lord (yes, with my guitar Wink

) and praying and reading my bible etc. its my only hope of staying 'in the way' so to speak. i put up with all the stuff round here all day, manage to write a few emails etc and then i go back to my room downstairs (yay!!! they are all up stairs lol) at like 7pm and go to bed like round 9pm. dad hates my not sitting up and chatting with the family while he sits on teh puter on chat...he reckons i need 'family time' and it doesn't matter that he's got his head stuck in a computer screen #Mad

the whole evening grrrr. i just say, 'i have to go to bed early to read my bible and pray' "why do you have to go to bed so early?" 'so i can get up early' 'why do you need to get up early?' 'so i can pray and read my bible' 'humph...good night then' most days he's so on chat i don't even say a word to him till like 3pm in the evening!
i sure hope you all don't think this is a big made up story though! Crying or Very sad

it really isn't!

Steve · Posted: Sat May 01, 2004 5:35 pm Post subject:

No, I didn't think it was made up.
But it sounds dysfunctional.
Sadly, I have known men who your description of your father reminds me of.
Most of their daughters traded in their familie's problems for one big one: they married the first guy who came along and asked!

I think isolation is not good.
Perhaps there is a young Christian women's fellowship of some sort available you could receive permission to attend?
Maybe your mother -or other woman your father trusts- could accompany/chaparone you?
I don't want to meddle or get between anybody in families, but in Proverbs it talks about getting an abundance of counselors, not isolating.
You can honor you father and mother, and love them, and obey them, and still find a way to abide in Jesus. He will show you the way if asked. I believe that.
I think it's mentally healthy to have a support system of like-minded persons, perhaps with similiar experiences.
I like God with some skin on, myself (Jesus in other people; trusted friends, etc).

Watch your moods. Don't get depressed. It won't always be like this. You will find the way.
Keep playin' guitar and making melody in your heart to God.

I don't know what I would have done in High School without a guitar and a good dog!
Smile

dogwhisperer · Posted: Sat May 01, 2004 5:45 pm Post subject:

i'de love to do that bro, but you see, dad believes that that sort of thign only wants to devide the family up, and that all the churches are corrupt (they ain't very scriptural though round here) but anyway, he wouldn't let me do that, mum go, and definately not my going with any other lady. Oh, and the marriage thing lol i know that, i'm to scared i'd do that myself, so sometimes i reckon i won't get married at all EVER lol i'm to scared i'd end up in another situation, oh, and yeah, my older sis did that with her b/f! grr. lol dad's asleep and mum's downstaris with the kids so i get to use the puter !
you know, i was actually getting quite a few really solid in teh Word christian friends on the net...WAS. Then dad decided to ban me from all communications with ppl on the net and i wasn't allowed to write to them ever again! even a young girl who called me her big sis..well, her mum was killed in a car accident, and b4 that was molested by all her mums b/f's...she was a christian b4 her mum died, then she hated God, but i prayed with her and now she's going to church and praying again...i was supposed to just dump her, and i didn't write to her for about amonth, but then i forwarded an email to someone i was kinda allowed to write to adn then sent it to her so yeah, might sound bad, but sometimes it gets desperate here!

dogwhisperer · Posted: Sat May 01, 2004 5:51 pm Post subject:

hey!!!! missed that bit about the guitar and dog!!! man, that's just me!!! guitar, God and dog. simple. that's life for me!! I've got three working border collies...used to trial them but that was a while ago...the oldest i did sheepdog trialling with, and when stuff was tough, i only had him an di used to go bush and talk to him for hours...he is my specialist friend!! his name is Blotch and i love him heaps...he always listens to me!! now i have Jessie (his 'wife'lol) and Stripe (his son) i don't know what i'll do when Blotch dies...i hope i die before then, but that's not likealy:cry: Crying or Very sad

[/quote]

dogwhisperer · Posted: Sat May 01, 2004 5:54 pm Post subject:

oh yeah, and you know, a lot of my songs i write come out of this whole thing...who knows, god probs has allowed this so as i can encourage some other weary traveller on teh way like me Laughing

sharring · Tiger Joined: 04 Feb 2004 Posts: 812 Location: Texas

Dogwhisperer, I'm so sorry. I agree with Steve that this is a dysfunctional situtation and lack of accountability is responsible. Somehow your father has knowledge and wisdom confused. I fear, though that as the daughter your opinion does not hold much weight with your father. So it would probably not help to look up Bible verses to rebuke your father with. Steve also points out the danger of leaving with the first man that asks you. I believe your family needs professional help on this one. Continue to pray (i will pray for you) and continue your healthy outlets like playing the guitar. I'm sure everyone on this board will support you. Hang on and be God's-scott

dogwhisperer · Posted: Sat May 01, 2004 6:07 pm Post subject:

i agree sharring...trying to rebuke him (gave up on that one a looooong time ago) is like talking to a brick wall...mum also said that how could i possibly hear the voice of god if it contradicts with what dad says the bible means, because dad has been a christian longer than i. i ain't no better than dad though lol sfar as i am concerned, i'll keep praying, and God will either send someone to help work it out or he'll change dad's heart, either way, my only part is to pray...i did tell dad off last night (i felt sooo bad though!!) because he goes up the ranges to our house in the car so incredibly fast it nearly scares me lol it was kinda freaky and it just gets faster each time...so i just said i wouldn't be able to go out any more with him..he was like going 100-120 ks in a 50 kilometre zone...he nearly ran over someones dog the other day...i shudder because little kids live round here to! i prayed before i spoke to him about it...and he said he'd slow down a bit! ptl! Oh, and i got my learners licence last month...it sure gives me a sense of God watching out for me LOL